Today is Good for Remembering

Good Friday was never my "favorite" but I did welcome the reminder, the tears, the sorrow, the agony. I use today to reflect on the Crucifixion and let it penetrate my heart. In my humanity, I still fail every day. It's called sin. I will not sugar coat it to make me or anyone else feel better. Sin is the reality of our existence. HOWEVER, because of what Jesus chose to do, to be tortured and shamed and put to death...I am not tortured, shamed or put to death because of MY sin.

I am alive and thankful. Grace saved me from the judgement I deserve. It is in the heart of a grateful person where the greatest joy is found. I live and breathe life because I am FREE. Many deny Jesus today. Many denied Jesus while He hung on a cross. As for me, once I discovered truth...there was no more denying. He died to take my place. He died to take your place.

Yes, that time you lied. That time you cheated. That time you stole (yup, even office supplies). That time you hated so deeply you wished someone dead. That time you broke the law (darn those speed limit signs!). That time you envied. That time you disrespected your parents. That time you swore a promise...and then you broke it. The affair with a married man. Your vulgar language. That time you drank so much you don't remember how you got home and did it again the next weekend...for six years. All your addictions, including the ones popular culture says "doesn't hurt anyone". The baby whose life you ended. Every day you let pass without actively pursuing the dream God has placed on your heart. Yes, even wasted time because of laziness is considered failure -- sin.

Can you add to the list? Because that list is mine. I own it.

Thankfully, it does not own me.

Because of the Cross.

Today I review every item on my list and nail it to the Cross. Not because I've been held prisoner to it and have never been forgiven but as a reminder. As a human being I forget. Things go well. Life moves on and I forget. We wouldn't need reminders on our smart phones and calenders and phone calls from the doctor's office if we weren't such a forgetful bunch. So today I remind myself. I remember.

I read the words in Scripture. I picture it in my mind. I imagine the brutality until I feel the remorse. Until my eyes swell with repentance and I rush to nail my list to the Cross, including the new ones I've had to add. Yes, the ones I keep going back to. I beg for forgiveness. I beg for Jesus to be taken down from the Cross.

"Please! No more! He doesn't deserve to die for what I did. Not Jesus. He didn't do anything wrong!"

I try to imagine the confusion. I try to imagine what it must have felt like for Peter, James, Matthew, Thomas...Judas. They were His friends. They breathed in every moment with Jesus for three years. Now He was taken from them and hanging on a Cross. This is not how it was supposed to end!

I imagine Mary, His mother. Her son brutalized and hanging, naked on a Roman execution Cross. But God said her son was the Chosen One. She felt Him move during her pregnancy. She birthed Him. Nursed and clothed Him. She even lost Him once. Joseph died and left her as a widow. What would he say to her if he saw the Child he adopted hanging by nails, flesh dripping? How does a mother grieve when death has not yet snatched life but waits? Does she remember the words Simeon spoke to her at the temple when Jesus was days old?

"...And a sword will pierce your own soul too" 

I imagine John when Jesus entrusts His mother to his care. I imagine the Roman soldiers and the Centurion. Perhaps the same government official whose son was cured was also the one standing at the foot of the Cross, wondering how this could be?

I imagine the Pharisees mocking. And I remember a time I did as well.

I imagine the moment the skies grow dark and the earth shakes and the words "It is finished" echos through hearts as tears form rivers from those who loved Jesus. I feel my own. My heart rips in two as I imagine the curtain in the temple did.

Jesus has died. He died because of the collective me.

What now? Has hope also died? What about the promise? The prophecies? Jesus' words? His miracles? His teachings? His laughter? His presence? His friendship? Agonizing grief of a loved one gone settles in. What now?

I let myself absorb. I remind my heart because it is in the reminding that the forgotten becomes real again, fresh. Today I remember the sacrifice. Today I remember the agony. Today I remember the why. Today I remember death. Today I remember a sealed tomb. Today I remember the hiding and the weeping. Today I remember the anguish.

Today I remember my sins nailed Jesus to the Cross.

Today is Friday...but Sunday's a coming.

A Wise Choice

According to Merriam-Webster, the word FEAR is defined as follows:  to be afraid of (something or someone); to expect or worry about (something bad or unpleasant); to be afraid and worried.

According to the fabulous Merriam, the word INSECURE is defined as follows: not confident about yourself or your ability to do things well; nervous and uncomfortable; not certain to continue or be successful for a long time; not locked or well protected.

These are two words I often use to describe me when I'm challenged to do something new, to step out of my comfort zone.  But when I took a good long look at these words and their definitions, I felt they didn't describe me at all! They might describe how I may feel with the unfamiliar but they certainly don't define me. In that moment I realized a critical truth -- those words are poison.

Scripture says,

"Words kill, words give life;
    they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." (Pr 18:21 Msg)

Words which tear down don't have to be spoken and directed towards another human being to be lethal. Words you speak to yourself, whether a new habit or words you've heard since childhood, can be either life giving or life ending.

Want to know what words I'm savoring now?

CHOSEN: one who is the object of choice or of divine favor;  an elect person
FAVORED: given special advantages over others; preferred over others; considered most likely to win. 

As a woman who follows Jesus and trusts His Word, I believe what Scripture says when it reads I am CHOSEN, called out of darkness into light (1Peter2:9). I was selected, elected. I have divine favor. How? Through baptism in Christ, I chose to leave the old life behind and go the direction of new. I was given a spirit of power and love, not fear and timidity (2Tim 1:7).

I have chosen Jesus and believe what He accomplished with His death on the Cross was for me...and you. And because I believe in His Resurrection, I can confidently say nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).  I believe when I choose to battle the chains of bondage of poisonous words, I am FAVORED to win.

You are too. Let us choose our words wisely.

Forgiven

Over the past several weeks, I have encountered women who desperately need to hear these words: You are FORGIVEN.

So for the many more:

Freedom - My lot in life

Life is full of comedy and tragedy.

Shall we cry, stomp our feet and mutter obscenities at every thorn, brier, and pebble in our shoe? I shall not. Yes, I do wince in pain when it comes. Yet I marvel and delight that I'm alive enough to feel it. I love and laugh and love some more and do not quibble over trivial things. Would I not rather have grace and forgiveness course my veins than bitterness and anger? Yes, I am cast off by others' boundries and selfish pride. But I'm empowered because I choose to be free of their judgmental glances and opinions of superiority. I walk where others see no light. I laugh where others see no joy. I dance where others hear no music. I live where others see no hope. I love where love has been forgotten. I forgive because I've been forgiven.

I am free not only because I've been set free but also because I've chosen to walk free.

Freedom is a choice. Freedom to weep and mourn a loss. Freedom to rejoice for new beginnings and opportunities. Freedom to laugh and dance. Freedom to love and forgive. This is my lot in life.

Are you holding someone prisoner by your unforgiveness? Will you not choose to set them free? Maybe you'll discover that prisoner is you.

What the WHAT?!

Have you ever had one of those days or weeks where things just seem to be going wrong? You might even begin to rethink your religion and start thinking back on your life.

Karma?

Are you real?

Fortunately for me I know it's not. Certainly, with the list of things I've done in my "previous" life, I would be...well...dead.

But it truly has been one of those days, weeks, ...actually months for me. It seems like every turn I take is a backward slide. It really is a bunch of silliness and the overall big picture is just a big joke with friends asking if I'm making this stuff up.

I promise. I'm not. And actually I want to laugh out loud thinking about it.  I really do!

Here's what happened today.

The good:

• Drs. appointment for a followup on my injury. I'm right on target and ready for physical therapy
• Got an exercise I can do three times a day at home to keep my back muscles loose.
• Received my referral for PT and set up six appointments
• Was told the massage therapy I was receiving is a good thing and to keep it up
• Received a referral to another doctor specializing in injuries because MY doctor uses him and really admires the physician
• Received a referral to another doctor to get specific answers on an area of health I'm concerned with.

I left the doctor's office and physical therapy practice feeling like I was on the right path to continued healing. I was feeling...FANTASTICO!

And then the series that led to the bad:

Parking lot.

Phone call to husband, telling him how the appointment went.

Speaker, phone on my lap.

Pull away from INOVA Fair Oaks Hospital.

Waiting at red light.

Boom. BOOM!

Head bangs, scream.

What the WHAT?!!

Ummmm...I was just in a car accident where the driver behind me was sandwiched by my vehicle and the driver who hit him at full speed. The impact was strong enough to jolt me in my seat and make the van jump forward. Luckily, I had enough space in front that I did not hit the car ahead of me.

I was actually surprised to see how little damage my vehicle had sustained. I mean...little. Thankfully everyone was alright. I've had a few side effects that haven't been pleasant but that is only because I'm already a walking mess of bumps and bruises.  I know I will be fine. 

But the moment that pleased me most was when the initial "What the WHAT?!" wore off and I was alone in the van. I started to laugh. I actually couldn't stop laughing. That poor kid, of ALL the people he could have hit, the chain reaction he caused hit ME - the woman who JUST left the physical therapy office because of an injury two months ago. ME - the woman who just doesn't seem to be getting a break and is falling or tripping or sneezing or breathing!

Yes, me. This woman.

At the same time I began to realize how thankful I was that the young man on his cell phone had hit me. Like I told him and the other gentleman AND the insurance company, I am an honest woman and have no desire to claim my injuries are the fault of any driver. I saw that man's face and how upset he was. Yes, he was in the wrong. No, he shouldn't have been fumbling on his cell phone and YES, he should have seen stopped traffic in front of him. But, even though I did follow procedure and answer all the adjuster's questions, I knew what that young man needed more than anything at that moment was grace.  I told him I was fine and to stay off that cell phone and pay attention to the road. Next time he may not be so lucky.

Because you see, karma isn't real.  Often times things just happen and other times we have to accept the consequence of our actions or inaction.  For me today served as a funny reminder of something very real.  I usually go about my day or plan my week by saying, "I'll do this...or that" when I know full well that I have NO IDEA of when my time is up on this side of eternity.

My job, aside from being a wife and mother, is to love and extend grace whenever possible to those I come in contact with.  Even when things may seem to come out of nowhere and I say "what the WHAT?!", I have every opportunity to be salt and light just as Jesus said. I don't know what will come out of the conversations I had today. All I know is that they all were able to laugh and enjoy my take on the whole event.  It's not up to me what each of them do or even if they will remember the things I said.

So the next time you find yourself in a situation where your normal human reaction COULD be anger or disappointment or frustration with another human being, try to extend the grace we all desperately need so much and let them know God is good. 

You never know. You just may get a "what the WHAT?!" from them.

Blessings for your day,

Labels lie...

Join the movement - People of the Second Chance

I believe in the miracle of grace,

Hold on to Truth

Just when I feel like letting go...

(photo courtesy - People of the Second Chance)

...He holds me a little tighter.

Mother...all forms

I have the blessed opportunity and because of grace have the greatest fortune to want to celebrate my mom.

Today, who is close to my heart?

My mom
All moms
Stepmoms
Foster moms
Single moms
Moms to be
Moms who wanted to be
Moms who need a break
Moms who lost that precious child
Future moms with one more IVF treatment
Moms who adopted
Moms who lost that adoption
Moms who gave up their child for adoption
Moms who long to find her lost child
Moms who are watching their child die
Military moms who long to have leave to hold their child
Military moms who's husband will never hold their child
Moms who for the very first time regret their abortion
Moms who have passed
Moms who were never present

Moms.

Moms and the men who love their moms, or miss their moms, or hate their moms.

Moms.

It is such a beautiful and important day for so many to celebrate and a painful reminder for others.
After many years of introspection and healing, I can truly celebrate the woman who gave me life and tried the best she could. The list of things I hated and held together with bitterness has turned to ashes. I consider myself one of the lucky ones who found grace and forgiveness and a renewed sense of doing better with our children...because I know better.

This mother's day my wish is that we all do better. My wish is that we remember the woman who wanted to be a mom and never could BUT she is the best mom she can be to the animals she cares for in her home. My wish is that we remember the friend who has adopted and celebrate AND that we quietly remember the woman who gave her child to this family and prayerfully hope there has been wholeness and healing.

My wish is that we remember the elderly neighbor whose children no longer visit and simply check in with her.  My wish is that we remember the single mom whose children may be too young to know to make a card and maybe offer to take the children to the playground just so she can have some time to herself, maybe even nap or shower.

My wish is that we do better...because we know better.

Celebrate this Mother's day however you see fit. Love and grace are great gifts and each one of us can be a blessing to someone just by our mere presence.

Mom, I love you and thank you for loving me when I was the most unlovable.




Blessings for your day,

All choked up

I encounter all kinds of people throughout my week, with all kinds of moods. The individuals I am baffled by the most are the bitter, hateful, rude ones. I always wonder what must be going on in their lives that made them that way. Was it a past hurt? Were they told a strong obnoxious character is what they must show or the world would walk all over them? Was it simply because someone was unkind to them?

There is a small, pretty tree called the Chokecherry, Prunus virginiana. It grows in open areas like plains, foothills or mountainous regions and it spreads pretty easily.  Like many plants, the Chokecherry starts to bloom in the Spring and its blossoms then reveal its fruit a little later.

 

Looks yummy, huh.

The thing that many don't know is that the Chokecherry is toxic to ruminant animals like horses, deer and cattle. In addition, to humans the fruit is very bitter and the seed is inedible without being cooked and completely dried.

Why?

Because the plant contains amygdalin which breaks down into cyanide.

Did you catch that? Cyanide.

Cyanide is a poison that can bring great discomfort and pain and in the right amount, has the power to kill.

I am reminded of a verse in Scripture that says:

"Look after each other so that none of you fails to recieve the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many." Heb 12:15 (NLT)

In some translations, for "grace", the Bible says "kindness", "love", "unmerrited favor and spiritual blessing".  Is it then possible that some of the people I encounter during my week have at some point missed God's grace because someone else has failed to extend them kindness?  Is it possible then that the bitterness inside them is what poisons my experience or others?

I believe it may be so.

I have another set of Nine Little Words I use while I'm out. They are:

"What is the most loving thing I can say?"

Often times it's just a "thank you", or using a person's name, or a smile.  I try to never go to a store in a hurry and always try to genuinely ask how the employee I am interacting with is doing.  Trust me, I've gotten the grumpy "not as good as you" remark but often times I've gotten a smile in return.

Like the Chokecherry, I have to remember that my outward appearance may look safe but if my words tear down and don't build up and my fruit is toxic, then I just might as well feed someone cyanide.

I must remember that even in myself, if I allow bitterness to grow and am unable to extend kindness, the very life I may be choking out is that of my own.

Remember to always extend someone kindness. You never know, they may be needing to feel God's grace and love.  If you need to, start today. Look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of God's favor.


Blessings for your day,

I Am a Warrior...(Princess)!

I've been MIA.

Oh if you only knew what I have been battling the whole month of May. It started right before my birthday at the beginning of the month and continued on through almost the end. Trust me when I tell you I wasn't my normal self. I felt like everything I did was pointless.

So no, I haven't given you the update from when I last left you.  As it turns out, would you believe me when I say the story you've been waiting so patiently for has perfect timing in my life?

Yes? Good.

I promise. It's the very next post.  I just wanted to drop in and let you know that I've finally logged back in and I've missed you. I've missed this. I'm back!

So why the "Warrior...(Princess)" title?  Ready to have a little fun...a teeny, weeny bit of fun?  Ok, good.

After almost a month of asking God to help me out of my slump, I felt Him place a verse on my heart.  All of a sudden, I stood tall in my house and said to myself, "You are like Gideon Lisa! You are a strong and mighty warrior!"  (Judges 6:12)  YES! Yes I am! I believed it and proceeded to get ready for my ESOL class where I volunteer teach.  My spirit began to lift but when I arrived I had no students and instead of feeling down, I grabbed the make-up bag I had thrown in my purse at the last minute and headed to the ladies room.

(For those who don't know me, I generally don't wear make-up.)

The music in that hotel restroom was perfect (go figure).  I began to apply my makeup and continued to repeat to myself -- Truth. Over and over I told myself that I am a "mighty warrior" and the only victory the enemy,  the thief, the destroyer of my joy, could ever have is what I allow him to have.  Once I was done applying my make up, I looked at myself and claimed "MIGHTY WARRIOR!" again.  But this time I couldn't help but to laugh out loud...just like this very moment.

I laughed and I smiled and I kept looking at myself. Oh how I thank God nobody walked in! Seriously, I believe He knew I needed that time to myself and kept those doors shut because not one woman walked in the entire time. Now you know that is a miracle in itself!

So there I was, proclaiming myself a warrior looking fabulous! (No shame here.) That is when I looked at the entire package presented in the mirror.  My hair was just right. The color combination I was wearing was beautiful and I had done a fantastic job with my makeup. I was pretty and I was claiming it!

"I am a WARRIOR...Princess!"

Yes, I am! And so are you my fair ladies. Wear your flip flops and hair in a pony tail. Throw on some sweats and a stained T-shirt. Bake a cake. Embarrass your teen. Burn dinner. Go for a walk. Take pictures. Read to your children. Get dirty in the garden. Turn on your power tools. Nurse your baby. Drive the bus. Knit. Sew. Go to soccer games. Eat the cookie. Love your curves. Empty nester, find a young woman to mentor. Sing out of tune. Take a nap. Volunteer. Respect your man. Smile at everyone. Whatever it is that you do -- Love, laugh, live!

You have permission to put on your makeup and wear pink. Carry the matching bag with your absolutely adorable shoes and claim it! You are a WARRIOR PRINCESS and victory is yours in all you do with our King in mind.

And for the few men who read this blog, I love that you are strong and mighty warriors too.

Remember always, when things look bleak and there couldn't possibly be any life coming from anything you do, the Lord is with you. He can make you victorious.

Just look at this:

How awesome is that!?!!

Blessing for your day,

Dead tree photo taken by Lisa Arnold with Canon Powershot SX110IS 9MP Digital Camera with 10x Optical Image Stabilized Zoom (Black)

A Woman to Love

"See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." (Hebrews 12:15)

I love to love. But I wasn't always this way. I do have some trust issues and it has taken quite a while to get where I am today. Believe me when I tell you that I still have a long way to go.  Once trust is broken, as with many, it is difficult to get back.  However, with me it seems like an impossible mountain to climb.  I'm currently climbing Mt Everest with one experience but that is not the story I will tell you today. Nor is this about trust. It's about loving others as Christ does.

There is one woman I love. She is the complete opposite of me.  In many ways I wish I was more like her. I wish I had her confidence, her beauty, her generosity, her sense of style, her connections and her courage to do what it takes. She can walk into a room and command attention. When she speaks, people listen. This woman has no fear. Well, except one.

The fear she has goes completely against what I believe and hold to be Truth. Often times I have felt wrongly judged and misunderstood. This does not make her any less of a person or less lovable. The problem is with me.

I'm not going to try and sugar coat my failures as a Christ follower but to save some face I will spare you the details of my insecurities and how that can translate into judgement of others.  But what I will tell you is that I have recognized that the problem is in me and that it is a problem. In trusting my beautiful Father, I have in turn given it to Him and asked Him to show me when there is a bitter root that needs...whacking.

So one particular morning, I was having a hard day trusting and letting go. I knew I had to go in prayer. I knew I had to hand it over to Him and that all I needed to do was courageously love. I asked God to clothe this woman in His grace so I could see her just as He loves her. I wanted to see her as He does every day, every morning, every minute of every hour. I needed to see her clothed in the same grace He covers me in. I finished up my prayer time and went about my day feeling thankful that God was helping me whack away at roots that needed to be removed. I certainly didn't want to leave in anything that the adversary of relationships could use against this woman I love.

It so happened to be that I was to meet up with her later in the day and I was looking forward to seeing her. I simply was not prepared for what I would see when I came around the corner.


I could have fallen to my knees in that moment.



This is what she was wearing...



...





...





... a shirt that said:

 

Thank You loving Father for showing me You are always listening. Thank You for loving her and letting me feel Your heart for her. Thank You for making sure I didn't miss Your grace.

Music to Inspire

Music is such an inspiration for me. Well, then again so is photography and nature walks and babies and reading and friends and making videos and my husband and food and … the list goes on. Sheesh! I’m exhausting.

Anyway.

The point is music is an energy producer for me and most of us can find a song to fit almost any situation or emotion. I have a few new favorites and I would like to share one with you.

Most of you have been following "Time with my Father" but do not know I have been in knee bending conversations about these nine little words I ask and the requests being made. I wrote on my facebook status about two weeks ago:

“amazed at how [9littlewords] opens my eyes and grows my heart”

I wrote that because I had finished having a "safe" conversation with a random young woman I had just met. I’ll tell you her story at a later time (all in due time…all in due time). The conversation felt so safe that I was compelled to ask her those nine little words.

I haven’t stopped thinking about her since.

This leads me to telling you about the music I have finally posted to the blog. There is a song by JJ Heller called “Love Me” which reminds me of every encounter I have had. I wanted to tell you about it but kept getting distracted. Then today happened and so much of the beauty of those endless and expansive blue skies reminded me of her…who I haven’t stopped thinking about.

How many people are out there who just want to be seen and loved?

I don’t know.

I hope this song inspires you to find out. Share yourselves. Share your time. Christ was willing to die for love. You don’t have to because He already paid the price. All you have to do is show it.

The song “Love Me” is second in cue.

Here are the lyrics. Enjoy. Be inspired to love. To be loved.

Love Me

JJ Heller

He cries in the corner where nobody sees

He’s the kid with the story no one would believe

He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please

Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day

She’s the woman whose husband has run away

She’ll go to the gym after working today

Maybe if she was thinner

Then he would’ve stayed

And she says…

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone

He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done

He utters a cry from the depths of his soul

“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside

And it said

“I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied

I have watched you suffer all of your life

And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”

I will love you for you

Not for what you have done or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love

The love that you never knew

...

Hate is easy. Love takes courage.

 

Winter's Rest

Winter's embrace - the threat was easily seen out the door and ohhh how I don't like being cold. Cautiously aware of it's lingering stay, as the Creator spoke to His own to store away, I too neatly put away His beautiful words into places I would see them and remember His provision...feel His never ending protective presence.

Little did I know the impact of such an investment into listening to God.

 ²¹ She does not worry about her family when it snows,
       because they all have fine clothes to keep them warm. (Proverbs 31:21, New Century Version)

I sit, solemn glance out window bare, remembering gift given, cold night, quiet stillness everywhere. Sun hidden behind cloudy and gray stare. Body’s breath is vapor, carried off whispers of desire. Sycamore, Willow, and Oak all bear witness to same. Trees stripped of summer’s majesty in naked vulnerable sleep.

Night’s shadow fell quickly. Winter’s icy fingers – the miser giving no warmth. Numbness felt as heart protects, pressing to seek refuge at hearth’s fiery glow.

Providence stepped in, laid the covering, wool white, a hush, slowing down hectic rush. The dust of His diamonds, the snow flakes I see infuse my equal momentary existence.

He speaks, “Earth rest! Sleep. Labor and toil, none.”

I stand in awe, watch gift freely given. Winter’s grasp is His own, desiring will be done. Must I always be on the go? Is growth so much my measure, I forget to rest? As He beds Sycamore, Willow and Oak by gently brushing off their splendor, then why not me?

Tears flow at thought, almost missed blessing. Beauty rushes in cleared vision. Grace poured out, warm drink. Changes and melts the core. A time to sit still with the King, nothing seen from out but alive within.

He does not forget what is planted, hidden in rest under blessed soil. Divine King will draw out and bring forth what is ready…when is ready. As the vessels of tulips and buds wait on His call and tender touch, so I wait for mine.

¹⁰ “ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
      And do not return there,
      But water the earth,
      And make it bring forth and bud,
      That it may give seed to the sower
      And bread to the eater,
       (Isaiah 55:10, New King James Version)

Sitting. Resting. Breathing. Loving and alive, in the company of Royal Majesty.

Photography by Lisa Arnold