Today is Good for Remembering

Good Friday was never my "favorite" but I did welcome the reminder, the tears, the sorrow, the agony. I use today to reflect on the Crucifixion and let it penetrate my heart. In my humanity, I still fail every day. It's called sin. I will not sugar coat it to make me or anyone else feel better. Sin is the reality of our existence. HOWEVER, because of what Jesus chose to do, to be tortured and shamed and put to death...I am not tortured, shamed or put to death because of MY sin.

I am alive and thankful. Grace saved me from the judgement I deserve. It is in the heart of a grateful person where the greatest joy is found. I live and breathe life because I am FREE. Many deny Jesus today. Many denied Jesus while He hung on a cross. As for me, once I discovered truth...there was no more denying. He died to take my place. He died to take your place.

Yes, that time you lied. That time you cheated. That time you stole (yup, even office supplies). That time you hated so deeply you wished someone dead. That time you broke the law (darn those speed limit signs!). That time you envied. That time you disrespected your parents. That time you swore a promise...and then you broke it. The affair with a married man. Your vulgar language. That time you drank so much you don't remember how you got home and did it again the next weekend...for six years. All your addictions, including the ones popular culture says "doesn't hurt anyone". The baby whose life you ended. Every day you let pass without actively pursuing the dream God has placed on your heart. Yes, even wasted time because of laziness is considered failure -- sin.

Can you add to the list? Because that list is mine. I own it.

Thankfully, it does not own me.

Because of the Cross.

Today I review every item on my list and nail it to the Cross. Not because I've been held prisoner to it and have never been forgiven but as a reminder. As a human being I forget. Things go well. Life moves on and I forget. We wouldn't need reminders on our smart phones and calenders and phone calls from the doctor's office if we weren't such a forgetful bunch. So today I remind myself. I remember.

I read the words in Scripture. I picture it in my mind. I imagine the brutality until I feel the remorse. Until my eyes swell with repentance and I rush to nail my list to the Cross, including the new ones I've had to add. Yes, the ones I keep going back to. I beg for forgiveness. I beg for Jesus to be taken down from the Cross.

"Please! No more! He doesn't deserve to die for what I did. Not Jesus. He didn't do anything wrong!"

I try to imagine the confusion. I try to imagine what it must have felt like for Peter, James, Matthew, Thomas...Judas. They were His friends. They breathed in every moment with Jesus for three years. Now He was taken from them and hanging on a Cross. This is not how it was supposed to end!

I imagine Mary, His mother. Her son brutalized and hanging, naked on a Roman execution Cross. But God said her son was the Chosen One. She felt Him move during her pregnancy. She birthed Him. Nursed and clothed Him. She even lost Him once. Joseph died and left her as a widow. What would he say to her if he saw the Child he adopted hanging by nails, flesh dripping? How does a mother grieve when death has not yet snatched life but waits? Does she remember the words Simeon spoke to her at the temple when Jesus was days old?

"...And a sword will pierce your own soul too" 

I imagine John when Jesus entrusts His mother to his care. I imagine the Roman soldiers and the Centurion. Perhaps the same government official whose son was cured was also the one standing at the foot of the Cross, wondering how this could be?

I imagine the Pharisees mocking. And I remember a time I did as well.

I imagine the moment the skies grow dark and the earth shakes and the words "It is finished" echos through hearts as tears form rivers from those who loved Jesus. I feel my own. My heart rips in two as I imagine the curtain in the temple did.

Jesus has died. He died because of the collective me.

What now? Has hope also died? What about the promise? The prophecies? Jesus' words? His miracles? His teachings? His laughter? His presence? His friendship? Agonizing grief of a loved one gone settles in. What now?

I let myself absorb. I remind my heart because it is in the reminding that the forgotten becomes real again, fresh. Today I remember the sacrifice. Today I remember the agony. Today I remember the why. Today I remember death. Today I remember a sealed tomb. Today I remember the hiding and the weeping. Today I remember the anguish.

Today I remember my sins nailed Jesus to the Cross.

Today is Friday...but Sunday's a coming.

Happiness revealed...

A while ago my husband told me "you are the happiest person I know".  The reason he quickly quipped those words as he was on his way to work was because I was unusually sad over some recent criticism I had received.  Ironically, the criticism was over the way I view the world around me.

I play like a child.

I skip with children, even if they are not in the mood and I'm a total embarrassment.

I sing, even if I can't carry a tune.

I'm fascinated by a bug on the ground, even if we're late to a dinner party.

I'll stop dead in my tracks to watch a bird, even if I'm in the middle of a power walk.

I'll stare at the night sky, even if I just pulled in to the driveway, exhausted and ready for bed.

I'll pull out watercolor and teach the children how to paint, even when I really want to use acrylics.

I volunteer in a math class and am their teacher's biggest fan.

I took my rock collection into the school for the science class.

I took the children out of school two days in one week to watch the arrival of Discovery. I also gave each of them a camera so they could capture their own images.


Future CNN reporters:

The girl's snapshot:

The boy's snapshot:

I am fascinated by the world around me...every lit bit of it. I am amazed by dirt and rocks and grass and plants just as I am amused by the night skies and the millions and billions of stars. I am intrigued by everything on this planet and beyond and everything in between.

I also love to talk to people yet I enjoy my own quiet time to read a book and recharge.  I love hearing the respectful opinion of others and debating politics with hard core liberals or conservatives and religion with atheists.

I love to write poetry and paint and also budget our money and crunch numbers.

Yes, I am all over the place and yet the criticism of all these things left me feeling sad and useless and some sort of loser because I have no goal, vocation, or paid job.

So when my husband reminded me that I am the happiest person he knows, I brushed off the sadness and stood up tall and decided I was not going to feel bad ever again for what breathes life to my soul.  Of course recently, I've been a little bit of a shut in because of my injury BUT I am healing and yesterday I got to take some pictures in our front yard.

I felt like the flowers were so happy to see me and were cheering me on saying "ME! ME! ME! TAKE A PICTURE OF ME!"  These are just a few of the things that make me happy.

What's up buttercup?  I surely missed you...

Go out and experience the world around you. Slow down to truly see. It is such a gift.

Blessings for your day,

Do you hear what I hear?

Have you ever heard the expression "A thankful heart is a happy heart"?

I've had the great fortune and abundant blessing of experiencing that truth for the past six months.  I am living and breathing a heart of gratitude every day.  Now this may sound like I'm getting ready to sell you some kind of "happy juice".  The fact is that I was very ill last spring and summer.  I suffered a relapse of a very annoying and pointless disease.  Essentially, my sleeping Epstein-Barr virus "woke up" and put me to bed...for months.

Unfortunately in my case, it causes Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I was diagnosed with it when I was 15yrs old and every once in a while it rears it's ugly head.  I usually know when it's coming and I take some time to rest so it doesn't take over my body.  Well, last year I was just "too busy" to rest.

Yeah.

My body didn't take that thought process too well and decided to remind me that if I don't slow down, it is going to rest anyway.

And rest it did.

But this post isn't about last year, nor do I like to reflect on the negative things from the past. This is about every morning...and especially this morning.

Ever since I got my strength back, I started to walk again while always being mindful of any possible joint pain.  At first it was just a block but eventually I was strong enough to walk the children to school every morning AND it has been the greatest gift.

Our morning routine is to read the children's devotional -- which is actually all about nature. Then we leave for school. We sing two short praise songs and then start to pray together. We thank God for everything we can think of, starting with our family to finishing up with the school and everyone and every detail in between.

I enjoy this period of time with the children because it opens the eyes of my heart and reminds me to be thankful for the things I often overlook -- not because I'm ungrateful but because I am moving too fast.

This morning we were flooded with things to hear and see. Immediately, one of the praises said was "Thank You God we have ears to hear! How boring would everything be if we couldn't hear!"  We proceeded to thank God for all of our senses, including feeling a little cold and being thankful for warm clothes and shoes and a home with heat!

After I say goodbye to the children, it's my turn. I continue to worship and pray throughout the rest of my walk.  At one point I noted a Blue Jay (our daughter's favorite bird).  It seemed to be following me from point to point. I could hear it singing and then just a little while later I could see it fly in front of me and call out again. By the time I was finishing up my mile, I was laughing.

He really WAS joining me on my walk!

Did he not hear the "thank you" we gave the Creator earlier?  Did he want me to acknowledge his beautiful blue plumage? Was he trying to get me to remember the devotional we read about Blue Jays?

Finally, through a grin and a giggle I said "THANK YOU!"

And that is when I began to hear.

I heard the Blue Jays:



and Cardinals,



and Song Sparrows,



and Robins,



and Black Hooded Chickadees,



and Starlings,



and the first Grackles of spring,



I heard Squirrels warning each other,




neighbor's dogs barking,
cars driving,
trucks passing,
planes flying,
school bell ringing,
keys jingling,
footsteps on pavement,
a passer's "good morning",
trash truck serving,
my heart beating,
phone ringing,
police siren,
helicopter passing,
pedometer counting,
breeze moving.

I heard God say, "I am here. I am in all these things, in all of your steps, in every breath."

Before sitting with the children this morning, I had began my own devotional time thanking God for all of my senses. I thanked Him for my physical hearing and my spiritual hearing.  I had asked Him that my spiritual eyes see His love. That my hands and feet become His hands and feet. That I love with a passion that is only possible through Him, for Him and because of Him. That I see Him in the sinner and not just the saint.

And yet, it took a little Blue Jay to get me to slow down and remember...and truly hear.

Do you hear what I hear?

Be thankful in everything. Everything. No matter the joy or the hardship. Bringing Praise builds a fortress of Love. Being grateful is a powerful tool against any darkness that wants to overshadow you or your day. Know that to God even the darkness is light. He can see you, find you, bring you out of your despair and lift you higher than any discouragement.

Do you hear what I hear?

Sing in your OWN voice.  You are not a Blue Jay or Cardinal, or Robin, or Chickadee, or Song Sparrow, or Starling, or Grackle. Nor am I.

Do you hear what I hear?

He is not the CAUSE of my affliction but He is the SOURCE of my restoration.  I can rejoice and sing just as great as any bird I may see or hear. He is the same SOURCE of restoration for those around me who desperately need Him.

Do you hear what I hear?

If I am well then I can rejoice and be even MORE grateful and share that joy with others. I must remember that along my walk, this Christian pilgrimage, there will be times I need to slow down and look around and listen. Often times I don't have to leave my own neighborhood to find an opportunity. Most times, I don't even have to leave my own home.

"speak to each other with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs; sing and make music to the Lord in your hearts; always give thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" Eph 5:19-20 (CEB) 

Slow down to listen today. Give thanks for everything around you. Even the smallest of smalls. May your grateful heart bloom into a happy heart.

Blessings for your day,

I'd love to be writing...

...but instead I find that my summer has become a time of daydreaming and growth.

 ^6-9 Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9, The Message)

Loving my children. Living, laughing, breathing with them this summer has been a joy and an experience I hope to never forget. I pray that the moments of daydreaming and praising God for His creation and all things good, carves valleys of memories so deep nothing else will ever fill them other than the love of Christ alone.  I pray that their own desire to share that love and joy burns with such a passion, that no storm in life will ever be able to extinguish it.

 ^5-7That precious memory triggers another: your honest faith—and what a rich faith it is, handed down from your grandmother Lois to your mother Eunice, and now to you! And the special gift of ministry you received when I laid hands on you and prayed—keep that ablaze! God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible. (2 Timothy 1:5-7, The Message)

So for now, instead of thinking of all the things I am not doing or getting done and allowing it to burden my thoughts, I will think on all the things I do get done and remember the goodness of God and how blessed I am to be given the title "mother".

 ^8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. (Philippians 4:8-9, The Message)

I hope you find yourself daydreaming of God's goodness and desire nothing more than to share it with others.

Blessings for your day,

Pine tree against blue sky by Lisa Arnold taken with Canon PowerShot SX100IS 8MP Digital Camera with 10x Optical Image Stabilized Zoom (Black)