All choked up

I encounter all kinds of people throughout my week, with all kinds of moods. The individuals I am baffled by the most are the bitter, hateful, rude ones. I always wonder what must be going on in their lives that made them that way. Was it a past hurt? Were they told a strong obnoxious character is what they must show or the world would walk all over them? Was it simply because someone was unkind to them?

There is a small, pretty tree called the Chokecherry, Prunus virginiana. It grows in open areas like plains, foothills or mountainous regions and it spreads pretty easily.  Like many plants, the Chokecherry starts to bloom in the Spring and its blossoms then reveal its fruit a little later.

 

Looks yummy, huh.

The thing that many don't know is that the Chokecherry is toxic to ruminant animals like horses, deer and cattle. In addition, to humans the fruit is very bitter and the seed is inedible without being cooked and completely dried.

Why?

Because the plant contains amygdalin which breaks down into cyanide.

Did you catch that? Cyanide.

Cyanide is a poison that can bring great discomfort and pain and in the right amount, has the power to kill.

I am reminded of a verse in Scripture that says:

"Look after each other so that none of you fails to recieve the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many." Heb 12:15 (NLT)

In some translations, for "grace", the Bible says "kindness", "love", "unmerrited favor and spiritual blessing".  Is it then possible that some of the people I encounter during my week have at some point missed God's grace because someone else has failed to extend them kindness?  Is it possible then that the bitterness inside them is what poisons my experience or others?

I believe it may be so.

I have another set of Nine Little Words I use while I'm out. They are:

"What is the most loving thing I can say?"

Often times it's just a "thank you", or using a person's name, or a smile.  I try to never go to a store in a hurry and always try to genuinely ask how the employee I am interacting with is doing.  Trust me, I've gotten the grumpy "not as good as you" remark but often times I've gotten a smile in return.

Like the Chokecherry, I have to remember that my outward appearance may look safe but if my words tear down and don't build up and my fruit is toxic, then I just might as well feed someone cyanide.

I must remember that even in myself, if I allow bitterness to grow and am unable to extend kindness, the very life I may be choking out is that of my own.

Remember to always extend someone kindness. You never know, they may be needing to feel God's grace and love.  If you need to, start today. Look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of God's favor.


Blessings for your day,

Preparing for Christmas

Remember how this blog first started?  If you're new here, read the story about how it all began:  Nine Little Words.

I still ask the question.

"How can I ask God to bless you today?"

I do know it has been an adventure -- stepping out of my comfort zone to open up conversation.  A question seeming so simple to ask yet so difficult when truly moved and prompted to do so.  It has been a question that has opened up my eyes to a world and people -- His children -- who long for someone to just care even a little bit.

But what I haven't done is venture further out from my local stores and restaurants.  Perhaps it's become too easy and comfortable again.  Could I really make a difference or an impact if I stepped out a little further and really asked, "How can I ask God to bless you today?"

Perhaps I'm too afraid of what God would show my heart. Perhaps.

What if I was in little Bethlehem all those centuries ago?  Who would I ask? How would I respond?  Would I even think to approach shepherds in a field?  Regardless of their faithfulness to their work, they were known to be thieves and foul mouthed men.  As a woman, of course I wouldn't approach them alone but would I look down on them from a distance...judging them?  Would I be a "good" Jewish woman and consider myself too good because shepherds had such a dirty job and they were considered "unclean"?

What if those very shepherds were asked, "How can I ask God to bless you today?"

What do you think their response would be?

Personally, I believe God listened to their hearts every time they were given a look by "good" people when they went into the marketplace to buy food or supplies.  I believe in the loneliness and poverty of their jobs they had time to question God and ask if He would ever bless them.

I believe He answered.

From the book by David Jeremiah, Why the Nativity?

Question #14

"Why the shepherds?"

He writes:

"Men whose skin glistened with sweat, whose clothes gave off the stench of the fields; those who lacked the most basic manners, who used language unfit for your children's ears; minimum wage earners who were unlikely to be admitted to any respectable establishment of the time -- on this night they were favored by heaven."

I don't know about you but the above words brought me to tears.

Instead of giving you more of my insight from Dr. Jeremiah's book, I'm going to give you his discussion questions and suggestion for further reading.  Trust me. They made me think.

1. Who would be the equivalent of shepherds in society today? Why?
2. How do you respond to these people when they intersect your daily life? What could you do to improve that?

For further study: Read John 10:1-11. What other reason might there be for Jesus' birth being announced first to the shepherds?

Continuing to prepare for Christmas.

Next: Why the Angels?

Here is the link for Why the Nativity?




 
  Maybe you'll get it in your stocking?









Blessings for your day,

In step

Yesterday I mentioned that I recently saw someone and I told you I would return to tell you.  Do you remember the Cookie Cutter Words series I wrote about a "nine little words" encounter?  Well, as you can only imagine...just at the same time I was discovering my two left feet in these recent stories...I see her again.

I was so overjoyed in seeing her that I purposefully asked her how she's been doing.  Now, because she has been attending our church off and on I've kept her identity a secret and will continue to do so.  But I must tell you that she is not doing well.

She may be overwhelmed with work or that may be her choice. She may be having health issues and cannot go to the doctor because of financial reasons or she may be making excuses.  She may be telling stories or she may be holding back the truth out of fear of rejection.  Regardless, I do not judge her nor condemn her.

The truth is I don't know what burdens her heart but I know my Father, your Father, her Father does.  So as I said yesterday, "...I will tell you who I've recently seen, so we can pray...and then dance. Together."

If you wouldn't mind so much, would you? Could you? Join me? Be in step with me? Pray for her. Together? 

Saturday.

You know that was the darkest day before our glorious redemption.

It was a Saturday when everyone awoke and hoped the nightmare of our crucified Lord was just that...a nightmare.  Then the sun set and the darkness of the night matched the darkness of their mourning hearts.

And then Sunday.

Sunday the grave couldn't hold Him.

And the nightmare ended. Our redemption realized.  Blood poured out was not the final note.

Come along. I ask you to be in step with me this Saturday, tomorrow.  I prayerfully hope the tugging on her heart is from the collection of prayers from rightous women longing for another to wake and see the sun rise on a Sunday morning and know...in the deepest part of her soul...that all that weighs her down does not get the final say.

Would you? Could you? Join me? Be in step with me? Pray for her?

Blessings for your day...blessings for hers,

See, Pray, Dance

A friend of mine posted on her blog today after being gone from the "blogging world" for months.  I was so happy to read her again.  She actually had the exact words for why I have NOT been writing. I just happen to be fumbling over myself...with two left feet...for the past month...or so.

You should head over there and read what she has to say. Click here.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

[waiting...]

[waiting...]

[waiting...]

Good stuff right?

I often ask myself why any of us so desperately seek the approval of others. How is that possible?  How does that happen? How can you catch it in time to stop it from becoming an idol you worship? How did that happen to me?  How do I get rid of it?

Now if I really took the time to explain to you where I look for the approval, many would say to me that it's no big deal.  Also, "Of course everybody loves a compliment!", would be the perfect rationalization for my prodding and seeking.

But the problem became more of feeling as if  I would be misunderstood and no one person could possibly appreciate what I was doing with nine little words. My encounters became about the stories and instead of actually "seeing" a person through their pray request. I would think about what lesson God may want to teach me rather then getting on my knees and earnestly praying.  And lastly, instead of dancing with joy over being given a glimpse of His heart I would type and retype words to tell you a story that never made any sense...even to me.

Now before I sound completely out of whack, I will tell you that I never once asked one person my nine little words question that I did not carry in my heart and pray over.  Every individual  I ever asked has stayed with me and has been poured over in prayer.  Unfortunately, with potential new encounters, what I recently started to do was  think about the story and if you would even like it or  think it was funny...before even asking the question!  I would become so preoccupied with the setting, the weather, the mood, people around me, etc., that I wouldn't even have the courage to ask when it came time.

It's sort of like Samson. "...He awoke from his sleep and thought, "I'll go out as before and shake myself free." But he did not know that the LORD had left him." (Judges 16:20 NIV) 

I am in no way saying God had abandoned me, but I certainly did not have the courage He had been giving me on my little adventure. He left me fumbling and waited for me to get over myself (huh...sort of like Samson again).

Why?

Because maybe, just maybe...He leads this dance...and I'm not as good as I think I am.

Oh, SNAP! [keepin' it real]

So where does this leave us?

Here.

Right where it all began.

Why?

Because just like the words of a wise woman:

"Even if I'm getting it wrong and I'm stepping all over God's toes. Even if I'm trying to lead GOD, and every one's laughing at the presumptuousness of that foolishness. Even then, He has not left me or forsaken me. He is out there--on the dance floor--claiming me as His--2 left feet and all. He delights in me and sings over me. He hates that I have to feel this way, but He knows what it will produce in me, so He is strong enough and loving enough to let me go through it." - Lisa Jones from Seeking Him Desperately 

During this dance, I am actually very grateful my heavenly Daddy let me trip over myself...by myself and not bring anyone down.  Because for a Latina who is supposed to have rhythm...well...that wouldn't be pretty. Trust me. Not pretty. At all.

Tomorrow I will tell you who I've recently seen, so we can pray...and then dance. Together.

Blessings for your day,

When a writer doesn't

When words don't seem to flow just right, it's called "writer's block". For whatever reason, I am "blocked" right now. I still want to let you know I'm here and I'm composing...but nothing is finished.  So instead, I think I am going to share with you something I wrote just before Christmas for Restore Community Church. Interestingly enough, I wrote this right around the same time I had a nine little words encounter.

Hmmm...I wonder if they are linked? Is there something that I am forgetting to see about our tender Jesus? I wonder if this is a reason for the "block". Maybe.

Regardless, I love the following imagery of Jesus and the setting of summer is timely. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing the invitation.

...

“I am the gate” John 10:9 (NIV)

During the summer when my husband is outside grilling and invites his friends over to our house, you can hear him say on the phone, “The gate is open. Come on in!”

How easy is that?

When one thinks of a gate, most of us can imagine an entry way to a yard or garden. However, the image we are brought to in scripture is very different. While Jesus was speaking to religious leaders, He calls Himself the gate. This happens at the same time Jesus is using a figure of speech calling Himself the “Good Shepherd”. He was referring to something very familiar to the people of ancient Palestine.

What we know is that at the end of a long day, shepherds would call their sheep into a pen through an opening about six feet wide. There the shepherd would “close” the gate with his own body, a physical barrier between anything wanting to steal, kill or destroy – essentially laying down his life for the safety of his sheep.

The shepherd stays with his sheep. He never leaves them alone and in the early morning hours, he “opens” the gate to lead his sheep out for food and water. The role of the shepherd is to provide nourishment, protection and guidance. The “Good Shepherd” does this everyday.

Jesus says, “I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” (John 10:10 MSG bold added) We can experience freedom while confident of His watchful loving care. Without Him, we simply cannot distinguish the right path for our lives. Through Him, He calls us in and leads us out, laying down His very life, protecting His sheep at any cost.

This Christmas, let us remember He came to show us how to experience true joy and receive eternal life with Him. Jesus is the gift. Jesus is the gate - He lays down His life for each one of us.

He has called you. The gate is open. Come on in!

...

Isn't that the beauty of our Lord? He isn't just for Christmas. He is an anytime gift.

Blessings for your day,

Woven together

This week I have been preparing a "nine little words" experience and a "snapshots along my path" moment for you to read. Then while I was out today, I saw the very person whose story I had began to compose. Huh? Seriously?

Is it just me or do you find it a bit "odd" that as I begin to write about the next person in line...I see that very individual? Makes me really wonder what God is up to in these encounters I am having.  I am only just now beginning to see a glimpse of the complexity in how very personal and intimate our Lord can be in relationships. I mean, I know how personal He is to me and how well He knows me...but to see how woven together we are? Wow. It has brought me to tears of joy many times over the past few weeks. 

Beyond extraordinary.

For example, pushing through my fear in asking, "How can I ask God to bless you today?" has really opened me up to talk with almost anyone.  I say "almost anyone" because one of my fears is still that group of moms standing in a huddle at my daughter's school while they wait for their children. Do you know that they have seen me for two years now and not one of them has ever broken "the huddle" and spoken to me?  Soccer moms are scary...to me anyway. But I feel God using that too.

Want to know why?

Since I was a little girl, I avoided clicks. Hated them. I was always seen as a nerd and nobody ever took the time to get to know me. I usually had one or two friends at the most...all my life. So here's my thing -- I gravitate towards the quiet person or the one off by themselves. For the past year, while the mothers huddled, I found a teenage girl who would pick up her brother every afternoon.  She always dresses in black, wears metal, and has really cool colors in her hair sometimes. I liked her right away.

I've been talking with her...mostly listening and laughing. She is great. I love her sweet smile and her eagerness. I've learned that she loves her mom and step-dad because they love playing video games and comic books and reading and family time...yeah...each other in their simplicity and complexity. I now also know what her mother looks like because this teenage girl was not there one afternoon to pick up her brother.  And can you guess what happened? I made note that the "mom huddle" didn't break up for her either and I told myself, "one of these days...I'm going to talk to her."

I knew it would be a rare opportunity to see the mom again but I also knew the courage to push through the little girl fear in me was somehow strong because of "nine little words".  Did I mention these conversations I was having with the teenage girl all took place on a playground? Hmmmm...? Playground...little girl fear...alone...playground...? Sounds a little divinely "ironic" doesn't it?

May I take this moment to let you see a glimpse of the golden thread consistently woven in this tapestry God Himself is masterfully creating?  You are going to like this.

Just this week while I was talking to this graduating senior girl, I saw a dog run across my mind in a memory. Weird huh? (Stick with me here.)  Then I saw a woman and her baby coming up my street...in that same memory. It was this girl's MOM! 

All of a sudden, out of the blue, I blurt out:

-"Hey! Do you have a dog?"

-"Ummm yeah?"

Don't judge me. If you've been around me long enough I will probably also blurt out something really random.  Moving on...

-"I think he was in my yard once. And...your mom...with your little brother? I think they came and got him."

-"Oh yeah. He did that all the time. Not so much anymore."

-"That was four years ago!"

-"Yeah sounds about right. That was YOU?! Huh...cool."

Yeah, cool.

Like I said in the beginning of this post...see how woven together we are?

Because of nine little words, God started cracking and peeling away at the most fragile parts of my outer shell. Because of peeling away that shell, I began to see things hidden inside of me. Because of seeing things hidden inside of me, I began to see a need to change my thought process about shallow conversations. Because of needing to change my thought process about shallow conversations, I began to look for opportunities. Because I began to look for opportunities, I saw one God had provided:

He provided a runaway dog, who found my yard out of an entire neighborhood...four years prior. For the past year I have formed a casual relationship with the owner and I didn't even know it! Well, well, well. What a coincidence.

So shy girl me began to stalk and lurk for teenager's momma!

Kidding. Seriously I am. Sort of. But really...it's not illegal in Iceland. (I have no idea what that means and I don't think I want to know. Seriously. Sort of.)

Anyhoo...

The "rare opportunity" was this past Friday afternoon and I was able to make my way over to where mom sat by herself in the playground. She was only there because her teen aged senior was at graduation practice. I'll just say this...my heart had a huge grin when I told her that I loved talking with her daughter. Then the smile on her face matched mine.

-"By the way. Don't you have a dog that used to run away?..."

...

Oh blessed and beautiful and good Father! You are rocking my world with these recent encounters. It makes me appreciate how You are always at work and how even the littlest things we do or say matter...because You are our divine Daddy and all You want for us is to love and be loved in return. Your selfless love for each of us makes my heart soar! 

What a glorious tapestry You are weaving my King! Keep my eyes open so I may continue to enjoy what you do!

All my love,

Cookie Cutter Words - Part II

If you haven't already, start by reading Cookie Cutter Words - Part I

...

For months I thought of her. I kept seeing her face and hearing her voice...and seeing her tears. I kept her close to me in my thoughts and prayers. She was just one of the reasons I spent so much time with my Father in deciding how to show humble respect in my story telling.

Although I did not know it yet, God had kept her in my thoughts for a purpose that would simply blow my mind away. So in the meantime, I went over and over the words I could not remember saying to her. I prayerfully asked Father for the lesson and if I could put my heart onto paper...or this screen, it would have gone something like this:

-What did I say to her?  Did they make a difference?
- Why does it matter to you?
-Can't I learn from this? What could I say differently? The same?
- This isn't about you.
-But she was so upset about having to work. And Christmas. And...
-What makes you think that is what she was truly upset about?
-Was it something I said?
-This isn't about you.
-But she was so sad!
-I know her pain and I love her, just like I love you.
-But I want to help her. I have so much I could say.
-I know.
-But...
-Let it go.

(Just so you know, I do not mean to say I have full conversations like this with the Creator of our universe. I will tell you I could feel a very strong pull of me wanting to control the outcome because I thought I knew best. What I will also tell you is that it's not a good idea to argue with God. I mean afterall...you know...He's got bolts of lighting and stuff!)

SO, I entertained the thought that maybe I had misread this woman's tears.  Maybe there was something more and I could have made things worse by saying things I thought she should hear. But I listened to His words in my heart and reminded myself: 

God loves her.

He loves her just the way she is and just where she is. He loves her when she laughs and He loves her when she cries. He knows every little detail of her life...all the good and all the bad and He loves her. He knows what will reach and what won't. I don't and I needed to stop thinking I did.

Too often we think we know best and sit in judgment of another's circumstances and try to give “good advice” by our cookie cutter responses. We see the woman whose infant is screaming at the top of its lungs as she frantically struggles to mix formula with water and we may think, “If she would have breastfed, her baby wouldn’t have to wait and cry.” We don’t even realize she just adopted.

We look at the woman in the grocery store with her three children as she fumbles while trying to keep track of them and we may think, “If only she would have left them at home.” We don’t know that her husband is in the military overseas and there is nobody at home to watch the kids.

We look at the Muslim woman wrapped in her Hijab and may avert our eyes from looking into hers. We’re not aware she’s experienced tragedy. Or that her family is seeking political asylum, and she doesn’t know a single friendly Christian person. Not a one and yet she holds onto hope that somehow honor can be restored.

How many things do you think my sobbing woman heard that day?

What do you think she remembered?

I don’t know. But I certainly hope it was what I said to her. Not because it was me but because I want her to remember that someone cared enough to stop and encourage her. That someone would pray for her and not all people will treat her poorly. I hope she saw Jesus.

What I do know is that God knew what would reach her and it was not by my own understanding.  It would take months of praying for her and another quick errand on a sunny Friday afternoon to discover the true impact of my words.

But first, I still had to her let go.

Part III awaits...

Cookie Cutter Words - Part I

Nine little words...months ago. This story is still unfolding and has a few updates. Therefore, in the interest of time as I continue to edit and honor this woman's privacy, I will leave her name out and have to post this long chapter of Nine Little Words in parts.

Won't you walk with me and feel my experience?  Feel her. Pray for her.

...

I had a few things to get as the Christmas season was winding down. Trust me, it was nothing fancy and it had nothing to do with butter or cookies or Christmas at all. It’s just that during the mad retail rush of the season, you can’t seem to get anywhere or get anything without waiting in a line. I was determined to not get pulled in by the strong under toe current of shoppers. So I had my list: shampoo and wash for the kids, tights for the princess, pull ups, toothpaste, toilet paper, hair color for me and razors for my husband. Excellent! It was just supposed to be a quick errand and nine little words were not even on my radar.


Then, I met her.

I’ve told you before that I have no problem being courteous and using the name of whomever I am dealing with. I didn’t realize until this day, this Christmas season, on this quick errand, how important it would become...to care.

Everything was just fine until I handed her a coupon that would not work. The sale simply would not ring up, no matter how hard she tried. I could sense her frantic frustration as she tried to find someone to help. Her line grew longer and all the while, I assured her I was fine in having to wait. Not knowing if she was seasonal help, I asked her name and then assured her she was doing a good job and not to worry.

When help finally arrived, it became clear to me that I was not the only customer having a problem with that store coupon, that day, in that line, on that computer with this beautiful woman whose name I cannot tell you. I’m not sure if it was the busyness of the season, but the “help” didn’t seem like help at all. Some quick override function with a key took place and then an over the shoulder glance that said, “it’s ok” which was more belittling than encouraging, as the “help” immediately walked away.

Wow. That wasn't very nice.

She seemed more frustrated than ever as I swiped my card. I tried to make one more desperate attempt at telling her the day would go better but this time I added one more thing. I reached out and touched her.


-“Don’t worry. You’re doing fine and it’s going to be okay.”

Her eyes told me the truth. She didn’t believe it was going to be okay and it was not because of that stupid coupon I was now wishing I had never used.

-“It’s just that it’s almost Christmas and I’m here. I don’t want to be here but I have to be. I don’t know what to do!”

I knew what she was saying. I knew what she meant by the way she said it and she began to shake. It wasn’t Christmas yet but it was coming and she felt she had to be there…working and doing, doing, doing.

This time I put my stuff down, reached around, and with both of my hands tightly grasping hers I told her I would pray for her day to go smoothly and for her not to worry anymore. That is when she began to sob.

There was something about her quiet sob that shut every other noise out. Now, at this very moment, I knew I had to ask even though it seemed so very petty. I held her hands and they began to tremble as I said the words I had no intention of asking:

-“How can I ask God to bless you today?”

No answer. Just tears. Tears streaming down her face.

-“Please tell me. I am going to pray for you.”

Still no answer, but it was obvious that work pressure and Christmas approaching was taking its toll. I took a deep breath and ran my hands over hers. I know I said something to her but I didn't hear the words I was saying and I honestly don't think anyone heard them except her. I feel that may have been what God intended because He was needing to remind me of something very important. People aren't made from a cookie cutter and we are not to have cookie cutter responses. 

I do know my words meant something to her because she closed her eyes and sighed a big “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” The tears stopped and were replaced with a peaceful smile.

I left with my heart completely torn to pieces for her and I haven’t stopped thinking about her since that day. I’ve looked for her time and time again but I never find her. Regardless, I remember that day and what I needed to be reminded of...each person being uniquely made and uniquely loved by God.

And He was preparing my heart to show me Himself in a way I could have never predicted.

I promise. Part II is waiting to be told.

Time with my Father - Part IV

Please be patient with me because this blog is changing.

GASP!

Not to worry. I’ve received so many beautiful and gracious comments here, via email, or in person that it has been very encouraging. I’m not going to stop writing but I do have to change some things and I’ve gotten the “go ahead” to tell you.

Part of the reason I started writing the series of “Time with my Father” was because of this very blog and those nine little words. I questioned how I could possibly bring my beloved Father all due credit for what was happening in my life, in the lives of others. So we spent a lot of time together and He showed me many things. With every little thing He showed me, my eyes opened wider and my heart grew bigger.

I want these stories to be about these beautiful people and how God is pouring Himself into blessing me in the process. I don’t want to write the stories about these encounters for the purpose of writing or recognition. I want others to feel bold and brave enough to do it also...and feel His mighty love.

In addition, if for whatever reason someone I had asked happened to come to this blog, I don’t want these individuals to ever feel like I exploited them for my purposes. That is why so much time is between each encounter and post. I allow their requests to soak in so I can love on the individual in private prayer.

I also wait for God’s lesson.

The stories are all so different from each other but what remains the same in every experience is that the blessing I receive is immediate and the lesson I learn lingers. For some time afterwards I feel like I am walking in another dimension, as if I have stepped into the lives of those I have spoken with. I become less petty and less critical, even if for a moment, of my life over what I have or don’t have. It’s almost as if I am experiencing the truth behind when Jesus was speaking to a religious leader about loving God and your neighbor as yourself.

Hearing Christ's words he responded, "You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices." [(Mk 12: 32, 33) emphasis added, mine.]

Oh! You mean not just going to church, and giving, and talking the talk but actually LIVING by serving and LOVING by walking the walk in our communities...our neighborhoods?

Yup.

In asking the question “How can I ask God to bless you today?”, I am having the unique opportunity to see the heart of the one I ask. To see what is not talked about. To see what they carry hidden. Maybe it’s not a secret that they share but a hidden burden, concern, worry or even joy. I also feel God's heart for their request.

I cannot tell you how many times I have seen tears well up or how many times someone has laughed. I cannot tell you how many times I have walked away and wondered how in the world I was able to see God’s heart for that person. His heart? A complete stranger? Just by asking a question? How is that even possible? I certainly do not understand it but do you know what Jesus said to the religious leader who understood what He was teaching?

“‘You are not far from the kingdom of God.’ And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions.” (Mk 12:34)

Out of so many pharisees who dispised Jesus, this one got it! He got the heart of everything God has ever said. Care enough as you would yourself. Care enough to love and you will experience His heart for those around you. Experience His heart and He is magnified in your life. You can't help but to fall deeper in love with Him. It is a glorious circle of loving God, loving people, and feeling completely loved in return. You can't get any closer to heaven on this earth than that.

No wonder those listening to Jesus  in that moment didn’t ask anymore questions. I don’t know how I feel God’s heartbeat when I ask those nine little words, but I do and I don’t dare ask anymore questions. I let the experience fill me.

Which brings me to what is changing about the blog.

These very private moments are between the person I ask, myself and God. At first I told my sweet and caring Papa God that I no longer wanted to write any of these stories because I feel completely inadequate to do it any justice. I felt Him speak to my heart that this mini- adventure I am on is to be shared. But I was still...afraid.

Don't worry. I didn't stop. I have spent weeks asking people those nine little words and debating whether I should share or not or even how. Needless to say, my Creator and I went on many walks and spent a lot of time talking. He’s been very convincing…in the gentlest way of course.

So, I will continue to share the stories but I will no longer tell you the details of where I had the encounter. Yes, I will give you the names because I believe in the power of praying for a person by name. I will also let you see my stumbles and self discoveries but in order to honor the privacy of these people God clearly loves and cares for, I will focus more on what I learned through the process.

Here’s to being “not far from the kingdom of God” by stepping out and pushing away my fear in order to experience the blessing of feeling my Father’s heartbeat…one beat at a time.

I believe it will be a beautiful thing.

...

Photographs of Monarch Butterfly in various by Lisa Arnold
taken with:  

Music to Inspire

Music is such an inspiration for me. Well, then again so is photography and nature walks and babies and reading and friends and making videos and my husband and food and … the list goes on. Sheesh! I’m exhausting.

Anyway.

The point is music is an energy producer for me and most of us can find a song to fit almost any situation or emotion. I have a few new favorites and I would like to share one with you.

Most of you have been following "Time with my Father" but do not know I have been in knee bending conversations about these nine little words I ask and the requests being made. I wrote on my facebook status about two weeks ago:

“amazed at how [9littlewords] opens my eyes and grows my heart”

I wrote that because I had finished having a "safe" conversation with a random young woman I had just met. I’ll tell you her story at a later time (all in due time…all in due time). The conversation felt so safe that I was compelled to ask her those nine little words.

I haven’t stopped thinking about her since.

This leads me to telling you about the music I have finally posted to the blog. There is a song by JJ Heller called “Love Me” which reminds me of every encounter I have had. I wanted to tell you about it but kept getting distracted. Then today happened and so much of the beauty of those endless and expansive blue skies reminded me of her…who I haven’t stopped thinking about.

How many people are out there who just want to be seen and loved?

I don’t know.

I hope this song inspires you to find out. Share yourselves. Share your time. Christ was willing to die for love. You don’t have to because He already paid the price. All you have to do is show it.

The song “Love Me” is second in cue.

Here are the lyrics. Enjoy. Be inspired to love. To be loved.

Love Me

JJ Heller

He cries in the corner where nobody sees

He’s the kid with the story no one would believe

He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please

Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day

She’s the woman whose husband has run away

She’ll go to the gym after working today

Maybe if she was thinner

Then he would’ve stayed

And she says…

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone

He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done

He utters a cry from the depths of his soul

“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside

And it said

“I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied

I have watched you suffer all of your life

And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”

I will love you for you

Not for what you have done or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love

The love that you never knew

...

Hate is easy. Love takes courage.

 

Butter. Cookies. Stephanie

I enjoy grocery shopping. I enjoy the entire experience. Yes, having a shopping list, coupon box, reusable totes (I get $.05 back on each one I use - yesss!), no pressure on time and an empty cart waiting for treasures, is probably one of the most relaxing outings for me.

Such was one chilly Tuesday night in December after I left my women’s bible study group. I had a short list that would be finished in about twenty minutes and I had forty-five until closing time. Score!

Oh if I only knew the “sweet” argument conversation I would have with God at checkout in a grocery store, I just may have used up my minutes strolling up and down those aisles. But that would be futile, wouldn’t it? His plans are never thwarted. Just wish His timing wasn’t so comical…but He ended up blessing it.

In order to appreciate the “situation” I was about to be placed in, I need to paint a picture of my shopping cart – the unfolding comic strip.

What you don’t know is that it was just two days away from a baking project I was getting ready to undertake. Our women’s ministry was gathering at three locations on three different days to package cookies for our respective community fire houses, police stations, schools and shelter. So, my short list was in fact short but it was butter, eggs, milk, butter, gingerbread mixes, sugar, butter, flour and did I mention butter?

I try to eat healthy so I usually don’t mind what I have in my cart but you would think I would have at least put some rice cakes or carrot sticks in there. But nooooo. I think God kept that suggestion behind His tight loving grin just so He could see me squirm step out in faith.

Back to unloading all that butter.  (Lucky for me there was nobody behind me…yet.)

Just as I was thinking about all the cookies I would be baking and the other women that would be baking as well, AND joyfully imagining all the happy faces of those receiving the cookies, I felt a familiar voice speak to my spirit while I was still unloading.

“Ask her those nine little words.”

Gasp. Gulp. Freeze. Establish no eye contact. Hum. HUM SOMETHING!

“God? Are you KIDDING me? NO. Check out lady = small talk. No time for anything deep. No time. Nope. Not doing it. No way.”  (Humming begins.)

Now this is where the brilliance of no carrot sticks comes into play.

Unloading.

“Asking her might just distract her from all that…butter. Imagine what she must be thinking.”

Eyes bulge. Nuts! Not fair! Rotten move!

“She’s starting to scan your items. Now would be a good time. I’ve got the first task done. Look. Her name is on her tag. Go on. Look.”

Stephanie.

I will admit. I was squirming much more than when I asked Hugo just a couple of weeks prior. My problem was not talking to Stephanie or being polite enough to ask her how her day was going. I do always make an attempt to be pleasant to those I encounter at businesses and at the very minimum try to use their name at least once. My problem was beyond saying grace over a soup and sandwich and including a stranger in that prayer. How was I to tell Stephanie I wanted to know her request and I would pray for her? I just didn’t want to go deeper than small talk with her.

Thankfully it was almost closing time and nobody was behind me in line. So I planned what I would say in my mind. I would make a joke of all the…butter…and mention the cookies and mention church and our women and the community…and uh, oh. All that time planning and Stephanie scanning, now there were two men in line. Great! Now THEY would hear me too!

Before I knew it, Stephanie was giving me my total and my joke came out something like this, “Oh, the holidays and cookies.” ...errrch...WHAT?! That was the best I could come up with?! So much for being eloquent.

It was now or never. Where is that EASY button when you need it!

“Stephanie, I want to let you know something. At the end of the day I pray over experiences God has placed in my path and I was wondering if it would be okay to include you. How can I ask God to bless you today?”

Now if you’re thinking that came out beautifully, it didn’t. I was fumbling with my wallet and my mittens that were falling on the floor while my body language was saying, “Really. It’s ok if you ignore me.” And by the look on the gentlemen’s faces waiting in line…a riot was getting ready to ensue or that might have just been my perception.

What actually happened was more beautiful than Stephanie’s long blonde curly locks or all those happy faces I was imagining just moments earlier. She paused, turned to me, stood up straight, face lit up and with such eagerness said:

“Wow! I almost forgot it was Christmastime. Yes you can ask for me. I have three jobs I’ve applied for and would love to get one. Thank you! Thank you for asking!”

I was humbled by her response and to think I was arguing with God about even asking her those nine little words. I kept thinking, “How does one forget Christmas when you are surrounded by red and green decorations, and Santa, and reindeer, and Frosty and…?” Oh, wow.

Might that be what we all sometimes do? We get so busy in our surroundings that we forget our one simple purpose – to love God and love others. Are we so busy “doing” that we forget the Being? Christ was never in a rush to go deeper. He took time for relationships…even if she was just the check out lady scanning butter for the cookies you are baking for everyone else.

Thank you Stephanie for making me stop in my tracks and look richly into your eyes. I went home and prayed for you that cold night, outside, under a clear starlit black sky and I have never felt the warmth I felt that night. I offered up your request to our Father of Christmas and all things good, to the One who gave you name to be placed on tag. I have seen your pretty face dancing in my mind so often since that day. My experience with you has blessed and enriched my thoughts every time I walk into Giant and I am so grateful…for butter :)

Cookies. Hmmm...how sweet the process can be.

Looking upwards, I still see Him grinning.

Yes, Lord. You are wise and wonderful and I thank You.

***

Stay tuned. I had another encounter with Stephanie a few weeks later…

The Corner Bakery and Hugo

It was her birthday. But this time was different, better actually...like sprinkles on an already sweet ice cream cone.

We've been doing this every year since our girls were born. We would go to the mall, push strollers, stop to nurse, window shop, change diapers. Walk. Walk. Walk. Oh! And of course the talking...which I would always seem to do the most of. She told me recently that she loves to hear my stories. They make her laugh :)

Over the years, the stroller pushing would come to a stop to watch our girls take their first steps together and changing diapers would evolve into multiple potty breaks. Then time took our girls to school and left us with open schedules to busily fill with other things. However, we've never missed having time together for our respective birthdays.

I love my Gail. I will admit she may not seem like mine. After all, she does have a very busy schedule, a husband and two beautiful girls...but she is mine. So of course when the opportunity presented itself to have lunch for her birthday, I took it!

Now since neither one of us pushes strollers anymore, I had to go shopping with her before lunch. Oh the sacrifices we make for our friends! Did I mention that Gail is THE perfect hanger? I may not be a size 0/2 but this was really going to be fun! Too bad I couldn't "fatten" her up with lunch first! (Kidding! I sincerely enjoyed her gift card. We just can't share clothes.)

The best part of the day came after selecting our seats at the Corner Bakery. It dawned on me that our food would be delivered to us and I would get a chance to ask my new nine little words. Uh, oh.

• How would I bring it up?
• What if they react negatively?
• What if they laugh at me?
• What if they spit in my food?!

Oh this was going to be harder than I thought. Before I knew it, there he was. Standing there beside our little corner of the bakery, placing our food down, (ask him. ask him. ask!), taking the number off our table, (ask! ask! ask! NOW!)...

Eh...hem.

"Excuse me? What's your name?"

"Hugo."

(Here it goes!)

"Hugo, we're going to pray over our food before we eat and I was wondering (sweating profusely at this point), How can I ask God to bless you today?"

(Oh my goodness! Am I still here?! Did I pass out? Is he looking at me? Can I have a food tester please!)

"Me?", he asks with a boyish grin.

"Yes. You. How can I ask God to bless you today?"

I must admit. He looked like he had been waiting all day for someone to ask him anything at all. His inquisitive eyes seemed to answer back, "You mean, you see me? You care about me?".

His simple response: "I want to know I'm doing a good job."

His words matched his eyes. He was doing the best job he could but wanted to know if he was making an impact. He wanted to know if anyone could see, if anyone cared. He wanted to be known. Was it worth his time making sandwiches and clearing tables? Will anyone ever really take the time to know him? Will anyone simply ask his name and say, "Thank you Hugo!"

Those questions in his deep dark brown eyes helped guide my prayers for Hugo. Yes, Hugo. There is someone who knows you by name and knows you. And I will ask Him to pour out a blessing on you. May you get to know Him and may He make an impact in your life as these nine little words are making in mine.

And so it was. One more memory added for Gail and I to share on birthdays. It might go something like this:

"Lunch? Yes Gail. Of course. Oh! Remember that first year we went to the Corner Bakery and met Hugo? Where should we go this year to get sprinkles on our ice cream cone?"

Who knew nine little words could be so sweet!