I fell down...and broke my tailbone.
Just this morning as I was lamenting not being able to sit and write out a new blog post, the light turned on. Literally.
Matthew - "Mommy! I have no more short sleeve shirts for tomorrow!"
Nevermind that he was already wearing a shirt and there were shirts that needed to be folded. I simply smiled, kissed him saying "thank you" and told him I would wash more for him today. I figured he was only trying to help me plan my day.
My limited-in-which-tasks-I-can-do day. Another day in where I am completely at the mercy of my pain level and range of motion. Add to the mix that I must have done something without thinking the other day and my tailbone really hurts again. I mean really hurts.
BUT this is not a pity party. Even if it were...I'm not attending.
Back to the purpose of this post, even if it is just for me. As I lay in bed feeling sorry for myself and what I cannot do, our son's quick burst into my room and announcement was actually more of a reminder of what has actually been happening in our home. Somehow, instead of feeling worse...I smiled. I smiled because I recognized that our son knew he had been a HUGE help in our home for the past several weeks. He was (without saying), letting me know that he needed clean clothes to fold and that he would be willing to get the clothes out of the drying after school.
Because that has been our routine.
I can't really bend over and if something falls on the floor, I can't pick it up. I don't have the back support strength to lift grocery shopping bags, sweep, vacuum, carry the laundry basket, clean the bathrooms, empty the dryer or dishwasher...etc. BUT, I can do things at level while standing like dusting, baking, going through mail, looking out the window, walk short distances...slowly. AND all these things I CAN DO have been done with the children. I've been available to be with them.
This injury has limited me in so many ways that my busyness has dropped down to just above ZERO. My inability to do many tasks has given way to purpose and greater responsibility on our children. Now this isn't to say they didn't have chores before nor that our house is spotless. It simply means that I have been FORCED to allow the children to go through the learning process of completing a task fully with hidden lessons for myself.
No, I can't simply load the dishwasher because I don't want to wait for the kids to come home. I can't bend over that low and I need to learn patience.
No, I can't just fold all the laundry myself because it would be faster. My back pain won't let me and I need to remember that pride can disguise itself in "just trying to be efficient".
No, I can't vacuum myself because I'll do a better job. I don't have the back strength and I need to teach proper technique with encouragement in order to not break their spirits.And much, much, much more.
The quality level for these chores had been set low enough that the children are reaching them and they find great joy in accomplishing those tasks. So much so that they are beginning to aim higher and do better work. It really has become a pleasure to watch and another lesson for myself to learn.
I had a choice. Either let the house go completely or allow a job to be completed with best effort, no matter the final appearance. After all, isn't that exactly what God asks of me? He wants my best effort. He doesn't want me to give up just because the things I want to accomplish aren't getting done the way I think they should be.
I have a choice. I can lay around all day and feel sorry for myself OR I can set a goal so low that I will reach it and feel I have accomplished something. Yes, I do have to lay for most of the day. I have to heal. It's not going to happen with me moving around and doing things. I may not be physically able do many things BUT, I can certainly disarm negative thought.
So for now, and because sitting is SO overrated, I'm going to set a small goal for myself. Every day I will find something, anything, that is worth remembering or being grateful for and post here as often as once a day. It may have words or it may just be a picture. All I know is that I won't have to sit long to accomplish that goal.
This post took me THREE sitting sessions to complete.
Sitting is SO overrated!
Blessings for your day,